Showing posts with label thankful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thankful. Show all posts

Thursday, November 14, 2013

There's no use crying over spilt milk.

Hello there. LOL. Still haven't post about D-Code part 3 and 4. 
Before that I have some VERY IMPORTANT stuff to tell.
In my post D-Code part 1 I told you guys that 60 students will be chosen to the D-Code bootcamp. Which to be honest, in the first place, I thought that our team will actually make it to the camp. Unfortunately, on the 7th of November, when they announced the finalists, we were not chosen. My heart sank and drowned in the pits of my stomach. I have been waiting for this day for months and this is what I get?! HELL YES, I AM SAD AS HELL. I just finished my piano exam on that day and it was such a relief getting that big bloody burden off my poor shoulders and this shit just ripped my shoulders out, literally. I just went through a roller coaster of emotions. At one point I was the happiest person in the world, then this thing came in my way. Of course I am not blaming them for not choosing us. Of course they will choose the best to attend the camp. C'mon lah. This is not some belacan camp, okay.
I have been thinking that some miracle will happen for the past week. Like them suddenly calling us to the bootcamp. But unfortunately, no. I have been so moody these few days. I have been imagining the scene of the bootcamp for days. How it would be, who would be there, etc. 
When i told sir Nizam about this, he was telling me that he thought we would be able to make it. That was the part. I stood there and I thought "He actually had such high hopes on us and we just broke it". Seriously, I thought we would make it too. And when he asked me, "what do you think we should do then?" I said, "Sir, there's nothing we can do. Redha je lah.." hahah! :D
Recently, they just posted the pictures of the bootcamp on facebook. And yes, the jealousy just added up even more! :( I was already so damn jealous of them getting to go. And the pictures! OHMYGOD D: So, being my typical self, I was groaning and doing all sorts of stupid noises. And my sister was saying "There's no use crying over spilt milk". And I was going all bizzare over it. But after that I was thinking. C'mon. Of course I will cry over spilt milk. WHAT IS THERE TO NOT CRY. What if the milk was my only food? What if the milk was my only source of income? What if the milk was needed to feed some poor children? What if my mother was gonna scold me for spilling the milk? HELL TO THE YES I WOULD CRY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I know it is no use, but I still need to cry. To let my feelings out. To let everything be okay. To express the sadness that has been trapped. To express how desperate I am and how much I miss the camp and the amazing people.
I know. Maybe it's just luck? But I think mostly, our web page too. I keep telling myself. It's okay that we are not chosen. It's okay, maybe the competition was just too intense and we didn't make it. It's okay, there are people who are definitely better than us. It's okay, they deserve the best. It's okay, I'm so damn chill with this. It's okay, I'm not jealous.
But the truth is, hell no, I'm not happy with all of this. I'm not so damn chill with this shit. And hell yes, I'm jealous as fuck. But again, I think, maybe God has something better in store for me. Maybe like PASSING MY PIANO EXAM?! That would be great! :D
I like looking on to the positive sides of things. But this, no, it's really hard for me to see the positiveness in this. I can only come up with the point that maybe God has something better for me. Other than that, no.
Anyways, what's over is already over. There's really nothing much I can do. As I said earlier, redha je lah.
Okay then, I think that's it. Goodbye. Until then! Hasta luego, amigos! :) Te amo!


A screenshot I took with my phone and I think it suits this post really well :)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

D-Code Camp 3 2013 (Penang) Part 2

Hello there. 
I can't seem to be updating really quickly. Even though I'm in front of my computer most of the time, I don't see the reason why I do not blog. I'm still afraid that I'll forget all these memories that I had. So without crapping so much, let's get straight to the point ;)
I thought I didn't have to wake up early anymore since it's the school holidays and this camp is pretty relaxing. Unfortunately, I had to wake up at 6. To take my bath and get ready to go down for breakfast at 7. Man, I WAS LAZY AS HELL. Ameeta took a bath first so I decided to switch on the TV. Upin & Ipin was on! One of my favourite Malay cartoons ever! But it was in English cuz it was in Disney Channel. It was still awesome anyways. After the two of us got ready, we went to Izzati's room which was a few rooms away. 
Went down together with the others and had our breakfast at the cafe. We were the first to arrive. Then we had our breakfast which was SCRUMPTIOUS, FYI. But I took a little too much. And I remembered what they said about NOT WASTING FOOD. And my friends were also constantly reminding me. Suying, NO WASTING. And I had to stuff them into my mouth and clear my plate. But the one thing I regretted was taking the bread pudding a little too much. I did not like it very much because I think that the vanilla sauce was LACK OF VANILLA FLAVOUR. Like how could that happen =_=. 
After that we went into the hall. Being the first team to arrive, again. And we realized that our sitting position is different already. The board which has our school name on it was transferred to another table. Which meant that we had to shift places. And I had to sit in front! D: But it was all cool and awesome. It's actually I had the HONOR to sit in front. OH, WHAT A PRIVILEGE! This is not sarcastic :D It was actually nice sitting in front. But the bad thing was that in order to see Kak Liyana, I had to turn my whole head. Which was aching. Even if I turned to face her, I still had to turn my head. And it was not for a while only, it was for about half an hour which I had to keep in that position. Imagine my pain.
Before starting the class, they had a mystery session which they have every morning. We played Kamil kata! Which is actually Simon says in Malay. The game was conducted by the awesome Abang Paan. I was doing pretty good in the beginning. But when he started to go fast. I lost. I lost when he said "Jump!" I was like shitzzzzzzzzz. Then I had to sit down T_T. But it was really awesome. 
After that, we carried on with our first lesson of the day, HTML 2 and the review of HTML 1. Man, my neck hurt the entire one hour! When they said "Okay, go back and do your codecademy now!" IT WAS SUCH A RELIEF TO HEAR THAT. Okay, lemme be honest. When I don't understand something, I get sleepy. When I'm so into something, it is possible that I won't sleep for the whole day just to learn that thing. But I kinda didn't understand. I was getting a little sleepy. But thankfully I did not sleep in front of Kak Liyana. It would be such a disgrace :P. 
Later, we did the chicken dance which lead by Abang Fazril. I mean like who doesn't know the all so famous chicken dance! If you don't know the dance, you must have been living under the rock.
Then, they had their morning tea. But I totally lost my appetite. In the camp, I was eating only for the sake of surviving, not for the sake of pleasure. LOL. Sounds so... Philosophy-ist. haha. But seriously I really lost my appetite. And I did not eat. But every time there's a break, we will definitely get out of that hall. Because it was freezing like hell in there! Holy shit. It was so damn cold. And there was a hint of pleasure when you go out and feel the warm air against your skin. Ahhhh. Even though it was not that warm, but it was definitely warmer than the hall. We just went out had a little stroll and eased ourselves. And went inside again. Even though the food looked good, I really did not want to eat. I just went inside because I could not take another look at food anymore @_@ Yes. It was THAT bad.
Then everybody came back in after a short 15 minutes break. After that we continued on with the 2nd lesson of the day which was the review of HTML 1 and 2. Kak Liyana seems very professional when teaching. I understand everything she says easily. She looks very determined and very professional indeed. After another neck breaking 1 hour, the magical sentence was said again. "Continue your codecademy, guys!" Hallelujah. 
After that we learnt CSS. Kak Liyana said "If HTML is the skeleton of the webpage, then CSS is the skin of it." CSS is something very basic to give colours and stuff to our webpage. It is just to give our webpage a little bit of decoration. I started to really like this coding thing. She thought us many ways of using this CSS thing and ways to link it to our HTML file. Things were getting really interesting. How we get to decorate our webpage in so many ways. I never actually thought I will be able to do all this! I was quite surprised my self! But at the same time I was having TONS of fun! 
After that we had a short tea break. All of us had no appetite so we just went back to our rooms to change into our sports attire for our team building activity. As usual we went to each others' rooms to wait and get down together. 
We went into the hall and waited for everybody to arrive. After that all of us did some stretches and stuff. Haha. It was really relaxing because of my stupid neck pain. Then they asked us to group up according to our groups and we went to the beach together! Which was amazing. There were lots of tourists and stuff. Then they briefed us on how to play the games which was amazing!
The first game was the whole team had to line up in a line and pass rubber bands by straws and the last person has to kneel down and put the rubber band at the tip of the cone. And they pushed me in front. So I was the only girl in the front. The rest were boys and the last were the other girls. LOL. I don't mind. As long I had fun! I was passing the rubber bands really quickly to Mustaqim (my group leader). And all of a sudden, when I was passing the rubber band, his straw accidentally poked my chin. Ouch. I wanted to laugh at the same time. But I kept on passing the damn rubber bands. At last, we got about 5 only =_=. But it felt like I passed 50! After that they had another game where the whole team still stand in a line. And they pass balloons filled with water to the person behind. And the last person has to pass it to a pair of people who will be holding a kain batik to catch the balloon! Our team only managed to catch around 3 :P. It was really fun.
After that we did a small photo shoot by the beach. Amazing! We took lots of pictures. And also a group picture of the whole camp. I thought I wouldn't be able to be in a group picture cuz I had to leave the camp early. Thankfully I'm in this pic! :D 
Then we went around the beach to take our own group pictures. We took lots of pictures! A team of Badlishans! Which was amazing! Love the girls! We make such a wonderful team :). Unfortunately, I left my phone in my bag. And my bag was in the hall. I was such a genius. But I got the photos cuz I got it from the others :P
We got back to the hall. They told us that we only have 1 and a half hour to bath, pray, and eat. Ameeta and I made a great team. Half an hour for bathing and a whole hour for eating :D It felt really great to bath after a whole day. But it was not that bad cuz we didn't sweat much. 

Then we went down to have our great dinner! Seriously, I enjoyed every single second I was there. I did not regretting for coming to this camp. NOT EVEN A SINGLE BIT. We sat together with our schoolmates as usual. Even though being on the 2nd day only, it's like we've known each other for a really long time! 
Then we went back into the hall to continue with our projects that we've been doing like our own web pages and codecademy! I really like doing codecademy and trying new stuffs. Even though sometimes I get my codes wrong, I do it like trial and error. 
We went back to our rooms at 10. And this night, we did not meet up. We went straight to bed. After refreshing myself up, I went straight to bed. 
It was an amazing day I had. That's all for this post! Till the next post, goodbye! xox
Here's some photos I got from the D-Code Album :)
Me looking retarded doing the chicken dance :D

Kak Wa, Me, Farahin! :D

Farahin and I ;)

My teammate, Alia. Putting the rubber band into the tip of the cone.

I'm behind there with Aina, my teammate/ schoolmate.
Catching the balloon using the kain batik.

The group picture that I never thought I would be part of :')

D-CODERS FOR THE WIN!
Love my D-Code family :')

Fellow Badlishans with Abang Fariq by the beach!
1 person was missing :/

Badlishah's D-Coders. Hearts.
All 9 of us were in this pic! 

Loving this pic! 1 person was missing :/


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Appreciate.

Hello there, people.
It has been quite some time :)

Lots of stuff have been happening lately. I mean like events in my life. Firstly, I've finished my PMR! *Yeay :D Okay. That's freakin' outdated cuz PMR finished like a month ago :P

Actually. I'm here posting this post because I feel like some people need to be thankful, put in some effort, and actually realize stuff. To whomever it may concern, this post may be for you. Siapa yang termakan cili, terasa pedasnya.

This thing has been in my head for like a few months already. I am so fed up with it, telling it to only one person wouldn't help. I would love to share this with the whole world. Inspire people and stuff. I love inspiring people. It makes me feel good :)

I didn't know when I realized this but, I just realized it. There's this little friendship that we've taken care of for quite some time. Days went by really happily and nice. I wasn't thinking much that time. I just did what came to me. Nothing else. I wasn't thinking much like "Oh. What an awesome friendship I'm having" Not much. Trust me, not as much as I'm thinking right now. Everything was nice. Days just passed really quickly. As people always say, good times passes quickly when you're having fun. I was actually really happy and all at that time. I'm not trying to say that I'm not happy and stuff now. But, it's just different.
It's like we are the ones who keeps on putting in effort in talking and going out and stuff. And it's like "yeah. sure. whatever" I'm so fed up of everything.

Sometimes, I think a lot. Like where has this friendship been, what's wrong and all, why this, why that, what have I done, what have you done. At last, I realized that I haven't done anything and hopefully, never will. I don't mean like we're not friends now and neither do I mean that we're enemies now or whatsoever. I only think that we're not as close as how we used to be last time. I loved all the times all of us used to have. Laughing, talking, studying together and stuff. Sometimes, when I over-think, I'll just tell myself to be thankful of everything I have now. Don't think too much. Appreciate that there's a roof above my head, appreciate that I have food to eat, appreciate that I am capable of doing a lot of things and also, appreciate my friends and family. And there's only one person to thank all of that to- God. I would just be like thank God for all of these amazing things that happened in my life giving my lots of experience. Meeting new people. Being able to wake up in the morning is also another blessing. Being able to have food in front of me is also another blessing.

This is not only to whomever it may concern. It can be for whoever it is. I'm just telling to you that you should appreciate everything in front of you while you have it. Just appreciate and be thankful. Cherish everything you have :)

That's it :) 
Till the next post. See youu :) :* 
Bye <3 font="font">

P/S: I am now a part of the MILLIONS of DIRECTIONERS' FAMILY! Woohooooooo! :D

Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson <3 font="font">